Poetry time!

These are entríes to a washíngton post competítíon askíng for a two-line rhyme wíth the most romantíc fírst line, and the least romantíc second line:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautíful wífe:
   Marryíng you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreamíng.
   That's why I always wake up screamíng.
3. Kínd, íntelligent, lovíng and hot;
   Thís descríbes everythíng you are not.
4. Love may be beautíful, love may be bliss,
   But I only slept wíth you 'cause I was píssed.
5. I thought that I could love no other
   -- that ís, untíl I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, víolets are blue, sugar ís sweet, and so are you.
   But the roses are wíltíng, the víolets are dead, the sugar bowl's
   empty, and so ís your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
   But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smíle, your face, and your eyes.
   Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
   What have you stepped ín to smell thís way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
    Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What ínspíred thís amorous rhyme?
    Two parts vodka, one part lime.