Friday, September 16, 2011


"Virginity is like balloon, 1 pop & it’s gone forever! Sex is like Pringles, once you start you can’t stop! The exam paper is like a dick, when it gets hard people get fucked! Fate is like getting raped, u can’t fight it so learn 2 enjoy it! Work is like a group sex, 10 people are behind your ass to take your place! Education is like hiring prostitute, it needs both your money & hard work! Success is like masturbating, only your own hand can achieve it!!"

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The economy is so bad that ...

… my neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

… wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

… CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

… Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

… a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

… I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

… if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

… McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

… Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

… parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

… my cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

… a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

… a picture is now only worth 200 words.

… when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

… the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Keep your friends close and spirits up!