… my neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
… wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
… CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
… Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
… a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
… I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
… if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
… McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
… Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
… parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
… my cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
… a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
… a picture is now only worth 200 words.
… when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
… the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.